...With a Little Help From My Friends

Maureen & Immaculate-- hilarious, fun & caring

To me, authentic friendship is one of the greatest joys in life. I honestly believe I know some of the most hilarious, genuine, caring and wonderful people in the world! When I moved to Kenya four months ago, I didn't know a soul here. But, in God's great Providence, He quickly provided beautiful friends to enrich my life. In a short time, they have taught me so much about friendship.

So, in no particular order, here are some lessons they have taught me:

1.) Let people care for you
I am usually the mom in the friend group & I feel it is my duty to love my friends by helping/ advising them. Much to my surprise, my friends here have 'out-mommed' me! They frequently check to make sure I'm eating, try to make me wear sweaters when it's 'cold' & freak out with every little sniffle I make. At first, I felt like I was being treated like a child. 'I can take care of myself,' was my automatic mental response.
As time has passed, I've realized that they ask because they care. They know I can take care of myself, but they want to show concern for the essential things in life.  I become a better friend when I allow them to love me in the way they know best. Honestly, I still struggle to accept this, but knowing this is how they express their love means so much.

Dan & Emmelda--always there for me!

2.) Want friends? Be humble.
I have found that hilarious things happen to me, especially here. For instance, I have accidentally confused names of people with names for food more than once. Instead of feeling like a complete idiot, I share this story & join in the laughter.  I'm not perfect, so I can't take myself too seriously. Even if you're not a #mzunguinkenya, you can still grow in friendship by learning to laugh at your blunders.

3.) Sharing is Caring
Obviously, sharing material goods is a way of showing you care but, I've learned that so much of friendship is sharing what you can do. Teaching one another is so bonding & fun! Here, I have taught people how to: swim, play guitar & piano, how to type efficiently, speak a little Spanish, and more. In return, I've been taught how to: cook Kenya food, dance, speak Kiswahili/ sheng, etc. I've discovered here that so many friendships start with saying: "I'll teach you!" It's such an adventure to step out of your comfort zone with the accompaniment of a friend.

4.) It's okay to get a little messy

Philipo--helps me stay positive

A couple weeks ago, I was really sick. For some unknown reason, my midsection decided to wage war on me. I felt terrible (and probably looked even worse). I told 2 people I was sick...then the rest of the day I had a total of 9 visitors in my room. They came with advice, sympathy and lemon water. When they heard I was sick, each one took their turn to comfort me. I was shocked! In the US, when sickness is mentioned, people treat you like a leper (except my mom, who is ever faithful!). Here, my friends figuratively stepped into my mess to love me. They didn't leave me to 'get better soon' but they came to check in and take care of me. Their love for me transcended their desire to protect themselves & it meant so much to me.

Janet--my Kenyan big sister

5.) Celebrate Little Victories
I'm learning Kiswahili polepole (slowly). Honestly, I feel like I should know much more by now, but I can practically only speak greetings and how I'm feeling. But, you know, every time I throw out a 'nakuja' (I'm coming) or a 'nashisinjaa sana' (I'm really hungry), I am heartily congratulated. I know my proficiency in Kiswahili is very little, but my friends are proud of my efforts. They make me feel like I just recited an intricate poem with each baby phrases. It reminds me that life happens in little moments, not big events. Celebrate the ordinary, everyday joys with those you love.

Hope this list challenges the way you are a friend to others. I've been pushed in so many ways since being in Kenya & I'm so grateful for the chance to learn more about friendship too!